soy un perdedor

entry 5

may 12th

Current level of conviction in own genius (out of 10): 3
Hours of composition achieved in last 24 hours: if you count PhD write-up work, 2.
Hair day: not bad. not great, but not bad.

Back to the daily grind. The daily grind of jobseeking every which way but loose (although am starting to consider that course of ‘action’ too – must find my PVC corset…) to no avail, that is. No-one wants me, for jobs big (lecturing in creative music) or small (£5 an hour admin monkey); just got rejection letter from Young Vic, not even deigning to give me an interview for a job I’m perfectly and enthusiastically qualified for! Boo. I’m clearly either a skill-less wretch or, more likely, employers are taking one cursory glance at my CV and saying ‘Christ! Look at these glittering accolades! This girl is clearly a sparkling genius and we must not stand in her way by offering her a relatively mundane 9 to 5 job!’. Ho hum. Am now crossing fingers, thumbs, fallopian tubes etc for 3 month job as composer/musical director for community play in Thurrock. And thinking about downsizing my CV to focus on my ‘early work’ as a warehouse admin lackey and hospital cleaner. Class.

kj